Whatever attempt I made to feel normal by drinking alcohol, my sense of belonging in my negative/cruel world was only temporary. When sober my lack of self-love and painful childhood beginnings returned to plagued me. In my twenties, my only strength was my academic strides that did not require social interaction. Good grades did not diminish my feelings of alienation in my world.
Depressed into my mid-thirties without a glimmer of having a meaningful, successful career, or significant loving relationship to fill my empty void, I continued to feel unimportant and misunderstood by everyone. My alcoholic behavior with no love felt only sabotaged every pursuit to have a happy life.
I continued to drink alcohol daily to numb my pain and fear of the world, but when sober I continued to have difficulty coping with no sense of belonging. With the increased consumption of alcohol daily to give me a false sense of security, I was soon rejected by my most important boyfriend. Living with him, he had discovered my non-existent sense of security with my drunken stupors. Emotionally crushed from the unrequited love, my emotional state spiraled out of control
Unable to hold down a job and with no money to buy alcohol to relieve my depression, I collapsed into a full-fledged mental breakdown. Very depressed and unable to function in any capacity, I fell into the Deepest, Darkest, and Blackest Hole of Depression.
Within the abyss and with nothing left to relieve my emotional pain, I prayed to my Higher Power and thankfully His inspiration reached me. I returned to college, a temporary safe haven within the classroom, a place where I could forget my emotional pain. This time, not only did the classroom instructor distract me for an hour, but started to give me hope. I had learned about Dr. Bradshaw’s Inner-Child Within.
After I graduated from college, I implemented my own version of re-parenting my emotional childhood foundation (Inner-Child Within). After the first session, I felt the depression begin to lift. I followed my regimen daily until I was totally absolved from the Deepest, Darkest, and Blackest Hole of Depression.
RESULTS: My Self Love Process successfully permeated my very core, until the ultimate transformation of my entire emotional being took place. Not only had I been catapulted into having a healthy sense of wellbeing, belonging, and good self-esteem, I became very motivated to succeed. The once lazy ME started to have a fierce desire to achieve goals. Without negative thinking and strong positivity. I was transformed into the very best version of myself. My autobiography shows how my success followed.